Wednesday, 26 October 2011

Finding harmony in the chaos

Dzyn, dzyn, dzyn in Polish means ding, ding, ding.
No worries, I’m not falling into Christmas fever already. I just like the wintery moods that are clearly coming – shorter days, coolness, the fragrance of the air – this vague, nondescript, icy-sweet smell, announcing the end of the old and beginning of the new. I think, I like winter better then summer. Tania says it’s because I was born during winter months. If I was born let’s say in July, I would prefer summer for sure. I don’t know how it works for others, but with me it’s true.

1. Three days off. There is a certain advantage to working 12 hours shifts – though it is brutal and so freaking loooong, I get more days off then the regular people. I’ve planned to do… nothing. Just sink into my e-book reader and carry on with Tad Williams’ “Otherland”. I’ve just finished the first volume, three to go. Mmmmm, sweet…:) And they are as thick as bricks (if you can say that about the digital books)!

2. I had a good idea today; I googled “artists similar to Ane Brum”. So now I enjoy the evening in the company of Anna Ternheim, Nina Kinert, Sophie Zelmani and Susanne Sundfør. That’s exactly what I need – soft lady’s voice and songs about the peaceful stuff: love, longing, walks in the sunshine, picking up flowers, looking at clouds, holding hands, eating pasta, taking taxi to the cosy huts from childhood, playing with a dog…

3. I’ve finished another book too. “Nothing Can Be Changed Here” by Kazimierz Dabrowski. Because taking life easy is important, especially when you feel a mess, but it’s also important to look deep in, not being shallow. And this play is one of the most beautiful and weird things I’ve ever read. Look it up.

"I was reading something about Durrenmatt's philosophy… I find it very appealing… What he more or less says is that the struggle of truth and good with the world of daily reality can't have positive results; truth and good always lose, and the battle is hopeless. But that which can be called human in the best sense of the word, is the courage to carry out the tasks in which we believe the true essence of humanity lies, even though they are doomed to failure from the outset. Right to the end we mustn’t give way, mustn’t back out or accommodate ourselves… we must continue to be ourselves, to withstand the weight of evil and opposition. We must consciously take the path fate has destined for us… After all, it isn't so difficult - the greater difficulty lies in existence without that path, trying to find a direction without it."

4. That’s it for now. I’ve already got carried away and made this entry too draggy. My better half is sewing felted Christmas decorations in the shape of hearts, behind the door one of the housemates (by the sound of scrapping slippers I guess it's Justina) put the kettle on, Sophie Zelmanie wonders if she could, the imaginary cat plays with a sock on my foot. Though I feel inadequate, I don’t fight it, and it feels cool. Kind of peaceful.
See u guys.


  1. Is it THE Kazimierz Dabrowski who wrote the Theory of Positive Disintegration? The name rings a bell...

  2. Yes, this is the one. Glad to know that there are people who know the Theory of Positive Desintegration. It looks like it's forgotten to some degree, though in my opinion it's a revolutionary and beautiful idea that can change lives on a very profound level.

  3. It's as old as the hills. I read it in high school or somewhere around that time, and it made a great impression on me (it must have had, if I still recall the name :-)).